Congrats!! You got engaged and are looking to get married in a dreamy foreign country. But amidst the bliss and euphoria (stress who?), there is a grey cloud overshadowing your preparations: what is the general etiquette for a destination wedding? Who pays for what? How many events should I host? And the list of questions goes on and on…and on!
So let’s start with the basics. To help you plan your destination wedding, you can use a platform like WedBoard, where you will find all-things destination wedding-related. In addition, you can use features like WedBoard’s Smart Venue Search to browse gorgeous Italian venues, explore and chat commitment-free with the highest qualified Italian wedding vendors, and connect with the best destination wedding planners in town. But where will you find the answers to the most common destination wedding questions ? How will you plan a wedding in a foreign country while making sure you’re respecting the minimum standards of courtesy and etiquette with your wedding guests?
Fear no more! WedBoard brings you all the answers and information you need to make this beautiful and happy experience a memorable and seamless one for everyone!
So with no further ado, let us help you answer the most common destination wedding etiquette questions along with some tips to make your wedding day even more perfect!
Florals: Agriflor Siena | Venue: La Pescaia Resort
1- When should I send out the save the date? Should the save the date include the location of my destination wedding?
You should send your save-the-date for a destination wedding, ideally between 8 and 10 months ahead of the wedding and at the very least 6 months ahead. Since you are inviting your friends and family to travel halfway across the world, you need to make sure you give them ample time to plan and prepare their trip: they will need to manage their budget, have a valid passport, book their days off, organize the logistics, etc.
Your save the date for a destination wedding should include:
– The date (like obviously!)
– The destination country
– An indication of where or at least by when they can expect further details (especially if you are not mentioning the destination country)
2- How soon should I send out my destination wedding invitations? And what information should I include in my wedding invites?
12 weeks or 3 months in advance of your wedding date would be the ideal time by when you should have mailed out your wedding invitations to give your guests plenty of time to RSVP and confirm their attendance.
Noting that you should have all the logistics details and suggestions prepared and ready to be shared at this point, your wedding invitations should have all the travel and accommodation-related details for your guests to be able to start booking their rooms and tickets without ending up paying for the higher last-minute rates.
3- How do I tell other friends and relatives that they are not invited to my destination wedding?
This is one of the trickiest and most dreaded parts of planning a destination wedding in general. Often, destination weddings have smaller guest lists than traditional local weddings, but how do you break the news, or keep seeing your friends and relatives normally without that huge wedding invitation topic hanging over your heads? Simply, by just being honest.
Yes, an honest, polite, and empathetic statement initiated by you, without even being asked will do the deed. By saying it yourself and stating a plausible reason like having a small destination wedding, your (un-invited) friends will understand, feel respected, acknowledged, and will be happy for you!
Extra tip? Why not plan a small gathering or dinner when you are back to celebrate with them? You can plan anything, from a small dinner gathering at your new home, drinks at a pub, or even a fancy dinner whatever suits your boat (and budget!). Such gestures will go a long way and ensure your friendships remain intact!
4-Are we expected to provide welcome bags and favors to guests?
No rule says you have to gift your guests anything (well, other than the obvious dinner reception). However, having your guests spend a wonderful time and create everlasting memories at your wedding is essential, especially when they have traveled a long way to share with you the joy of your wedding day. Greeting your guests with welcome bags or hampers with everything they might need during their stay is one beautiful and elegant way to show your appreciation and excitement for having them around on your special day. The same goes for wedding favors to end the festivities on a beautiful note.
If you need some inspiration, head to our roundup of the prettiest and most unique wedding favors ideas that your guests will love!
5- Is it appropriate to create a wedding registry when planning a destination wedding?
Technically, you are getting married, and whether it is abroad or not, you are eligible for a wedding gift. Friends and family love gifting their favorite couple on their wedding day to express their joy and contribute to their happiness.
So it is completely up to you and how comfortable you feel. A delicate attention would be not to create a registry and instead leave it up to each guest to decide whether to offer a present or not. But do bear in mind that their biggest gift to you is them changing their holiday plans and taking time off from work and their daily life to attend your destination wedding and celebrate your big day.
6- Should we pay for the tickets and/or accommodations of our wedding party and parents?
Your parents, groomsmen, and bridesmaids play a special role in a wedding, and their presence is essential. To show them love, appreciation, and how they want them to be part of their celebration, some couples opt to pay for their tickets and/or accommodations, but unfortunately, this is not for everyone’s budget.
To show them how special they are, you can pay for one of the two, contribute to the ticket’s fare, get them the best discounts possible, or (and this is a great destination wedding in Italy tip) accommodate them in your venue if you are getting married in an Italian villa. Indeed, most villas in Italy offer accommodation within their premises, which is a wonderful idea on many levels, even in terms of logistics, as these are the people you want to have – and who should be with you – from the earliest hours of your wedding day. Noting that room rates are usually included in your wedding package.
7- Should we be covering costs at every gathering or outing during our destination wedding weekend?
If you can afford it, then, by all means, cover as many events, outings, or activities as your budget allows you to. These are kind and warm gestures that will help offset your guests’ travel expenses, and while they are not mandatory, such gestures are good manner staples. From picking up the tab at dinner, paying for an activity, museum visits, etc., these kind and little gestures will go a long way!
For example, if you are getting married in Italy, you can cover many activities or gatherings to suit any budget. You can rent a gondola tour in Venice, pay for a round of drinks on a Terrazza in Amalfi, rent a big bus to take everyone on a winery tour in Tuscany, pay for one of the museum entrances in Florence. The list of options is endless.
8- Is it mandatory to plan a pre-wedding party or a post-wedding brunch?
Nothing is mandatory, but common practice and generally unspoken courtesy rules suggest throwing at least one wedding event, either a welcome party, pre-wedding or rehearsal dinner, or a post-wedding brunch, especially if your wedding weekend requires a stay of more than 3 days. Noting that destination wedding trips usually require 5 to 7 day stays, especially if you are traveling long distances.
Extra tip? Liaise with your wedding planner for this event as well, as they will help you pick one of the best options available. And to make the event a memorable experience, why not go for something related to your destination country, like an event that will take the Italian experience to a new level!
We hope we’ve answered all (or at least most!) of your destination wedding etiquette questions! Stay tuned on WedTips for more destination wedding planning tips.
And since you are getting married in Italy, here are our 7 tips to help you make your wedding extra-Italian as well as many other tips that you can find on WedBoard!
Feature Image Credits: Photo courtesy Paola Calamarà
