Many brides find it hard to decide whether to allow kids at their wedding. It’s a tricky issue that sometimes causes upset feelings among family and friends, especially if not handled well. So how can you go about it without letting it affect your special day? We’ve got you covered with our step-by-step guide to managing children at your wedding.
There are pros and cons to inviting children to your wedding day. You may hear some tantrums which distract you as you say your vows, but likewise, the special moment of seeing your young niece or nephew smile and wave as they bring your rings down the aisle is one you’ll never forget! Ultimately, there’s no right answer for how to deal with this issue or whether you should even invite children or not. The final decision is a completely personal one, but there are lots of useful tips on how to handle the situation!
Follow our below guide for managing the delicate topic of having children at your wedding and the best ways for avoiding any potential problems.
Pros Of Having Children at Your Wedding
1. Everyone Can Come
One the major advantages of having children at your wedding is that everyone will be able to make it. Of course, there will always be some guests that can’t go, but if children aren’t invited then the percentage of guests declining invites will be higher. Some parents may not be able to afford or find a babysitter for the day, or some may even feel offended.
2. Make The Day Fun
Children are unpredictable, but this could be a great thing! A wedding doesn’t have to be perfect. After all, the chaos, laughter, and fun are what make the most memorable memories. The unexpected funny moments where children photobomb, show off their dance moves, adorable photos as they walk up the aisle, or even tell you how beautiful you look, make your special day even more unforgettable and enjoyable.
3. Quality Time With Everyone
By having younger guests at your wedding, you’ll be able to create memorable moments with everyone. No one will miss out on being together for this special day.
Cons Of Having Children at Your Wedding
1. No Interruptions
One of the most popular reasons for having a child-free wedding is that children can distract from the important focus of the day, which is celebrating your nuptials. Babies and children might cry, shout, or get easily irritable while you’re saying your vows. This may be frustrating for you and make you feel extra stressed. You also won’t have children running around during the reception, causing havoc with tables and even your cake.
2. Parents Can Have Fun
Adults can let their hair down and not worry about having to keep an eye on their children. They can fully enjoy the celebration, sip as many cocktails as they like, unwind on the dancefloor, and spend quality time with the happy couple and other guests.
3. Space For More Guests
By not inviting younger guests, you’ll have room to invite more of your friends and family. Children still make up the headcount for weddings, so if you’re having a wedding with 100 guests then children would typically make up at least 10-15% of your guest list.
4. Save Money
If you invite children, you might have to spend extra on special menus and drinks, babysitters, and entertainment. So if you have a child-free wedding, you’ll have more of a budget to spend on drinks, food, and entertainment for adults.
5. Venue Safety
Some venues aren’t adaptable to children and babies, and this can affect choosing your dream location. There might be pools, lakes, steps, loose ground, or even delicate decorations and furniture.
Is It Rude To Have a Child-Free Wedding?
No, not at all. It’s totally acceptable to have a child-free wedding. It’s a personal choice. After all, the day revolves around you and your partner so it’s essential that you’re happy. If that means choosing an adult-only wedding, then it’s important not to feel pressured. There are different logistics to think about, and very young children won’t understand what’s happening. It will also depend on what type of wedding you’re having. If it’s a formal evening event it’s understandable that children won’t be invited. But if you’re planning a wedding that isn’t local or even a destination wedding, it’ll be harder to get parents to be away from their children.
How Should I Communicate This To Guests?
If you’re choosing not to invite children, then communication is key. It’s best to be direct, and to let your guests know as early as possible. Add a message to your invitation stating that you’ll be celebrating an adult-only event and apologizing for any inconvenience. Perhaps subtly repeat it a couple of times on your invite or wedding website to be clear about your expectations. It’s also okay to invite some children and not others. For instance, you might be inviting children that are very close relatives. You can also mention this on your invite in case your other guests are upset or confused.
Accept Any Guests That Can’t Go
Don’t feel offended if some guests choose not to attend if they can’t take their children. It might be tricky for them to organize childcare. Sometimes you may feel pressured to invite children for fear of jeopardizing your relationships with friends and family. But you shouldn’t feel guilty for deciding not to invite children. Keep in mind that your guests will appreciate your honesty, and you don’t need to take anything personally. Some guests will understand and some won’t, but it’s your decision and you should feel happy standing by it.
How To Include Children In Your Wedding?
Give Children Roles
One way that you can involve children in your wedding so that they’re not easily bored or misbehave is by giving them different roles. This gives them a feeling of importance as they’ll want to do their ‘job’ well, and have something to focus on. It’s also great for capturing beautiful and candid shots of the kids interacting with other guests. You’ll get adorable moments of children having fun and being hilarious. This works well to make the ambiance carefree, playful, and relaxed. After all of the wedding planning stress, it might help to have this lighter mood during your ceremony and reception. Some ideas for including kids at weddings are as ring bearers, flower girls, page boys, junior bridesmaids, groomsmen, ushers, or by handing out favors, and readers.
Babysitters
A great way to have children at your wedding while still keeping the space mainly adult-focused is to hire a babysitter. Dedicate an area of your venue for kids and hire a babysitter, or two, depending on how many children there are so that parents are reassured that their children are being looked after. This way kids are welcome, but they don’t distract from your nuptials. Some parents might also want to invite their own babysitters that they know and trust. If it works with your budget, then this could be a way to compromise. But don’t feel obligated to offer this extra seat. Your budget might not allow for this, and your guests will understand.
Wedding Entertainment
Have some entertainment prepared for younger guests. Keep them occupied during speeches, dances, and photos with different activities. If you’re having a spring or summer wedding, you can prepare some outdoor games such as giant Jenga, a treasure hunt, giant Connect 4, bubble station, balloon station, or face painting. Or if it’s an indoor wedding with limited space, then you can create some activity packs with coloring books, stickers, and puzzles. And if you have a lounge area, you can even set up a screen for children to watch a movie, while the parents dance the night away.
Food & Drinks
When you have kids at weddings, it’s recommended to have a children’s menu. Think about portion sizes and child-friendly dishes that are similar to your adult meals. Popular food choices for children include, mini hot dogs, mini sandwiches, pizza, milk and cookies, cupcakes, and juice boxes. If you’re having a formal dinner setting, your caterer should have ideas to incorporate similar ingredients from the main menu that still work for younger palettes, without changing the food style too much. You can even copy adult drinks with mocktails so that the children can feel part of the fun too.
Keep in mind that your wedding day is all about you, so as long as you know how to manage children at your wedding, then everything should run smoothly! For more wedding guest tips head over to WedBoard. You’ll find advice and inspiration for all aspects of your wedding such as How To Plan A Micro Wedding, 10 Top Tips For A Rainy-Day Wedding, and Tips To Plan A European Destination Wedding.
Featured image: Getty Images
